I want to thank you for selling raisins in individual, single-serving boxes. Much as I hate to waste money on things like that when I can get a bulk container of raisins for half the price, the boxes do serve a purpose: they are more enticing than Tupperware or Ziplock bags. See, my daughter is a very picky eater and often simply doesn't care about food. Her feeding therapist once suggested using colorful, bold containers to make the food appear more interesting so I started buying food in individual, single serving containers. Applesauce, canned fruit, raisins...our cupboards are now full of little packages that will clutter landfills for generations. And it seems to have worked; my daughter does eat a bit more now.
So, thanks for that.
I do, however, want to register a minor complaint. About the raisin box. Yes, this one:
You see, while the box's artistic design is somewhat tantalizing for an adult - a picture of plump grapes coupled with one of beautiful bronzed raisins - it is a COMPLETE BETRAYAL for little children. Especially those who don't yet understand raisins are actually dried grapes. To those fresh, literal minds it would seem the box has raisins AND grapes inside, and it is very frustrating digging around inside trying to find the grapes.
Twice now my daughter has fallen victim to this misrepresentation. Once at home, and once in public. Both times she asked for raisins, was given one of the boxes seen above, and immediately decided she'd rather have grapes. Both times she dug deep into the box trying to reach the grapes, and when that failed, tried to open the other end of the box to get directly at them. Both times I had to open the other end and reveal to her that there were in fact NO GRAPES - a point that did NOT go over very well.
Full, unleashed anger is not something to be laughed at - even when the child is 19.5 pounds. She screamed, she threw herself on the floor, she used her fists to pummel everything within reach - including her mother. Confused about what she was saying? I believe it was something along the lines of, "WHERE ARE THE DAMN GRAPES? I SEE THE PICTURE ON THE BOX. I WASN'T BORN YESTERDAY - I KNOW THAT IF THE PICTURE IS ON THE BOX IT MEANS THERE ARE GRAPES INSIDE. QUIT TRYING TO EXPLAIN YOUR MARKETING GIBBERISH TO ME - I DON'T HEAR YOU. LALALALALALALA."
And then the came the hand. Whack! Whack! Whack! And then the snot. And ultimately - an injury because she got too carried away and forgot the laws of physics apply even when you are furiously out of control.
So Fred Meyer, I think perhaps it would be in your best interest to change the packaging of your raisin boxes. Otherwise, the next time this happens I will deposit the child at your customer service counter and let YOU explain it to her. Meanwhile, I'll be in the wine section...enjoying another product of grapes.
Sincerely yours,
Mommy
5 comments:
I dearly hope you DO send this to Fred Meyer. It is hilarious, and it might even achieve your purpose! :D
bye bye dave barry..........HELLO PHAEDRA. You are amazing!
Okay, that is funny stuff! I can so see Kate having the same meltdown, so I will refrain from even thinking about making the mistake of purchasing those :)
Glad I found your blog ...
I once wrote a very similar tongue in cheek message to Hasbro. My daughter's Weebles came with BEDS and she was in tears because the bloody things would NOT LIE DOWN.
Only I sent the letter, and they sent me coupons for free Weebles. Lesson learned. Humorous writing = free Weebles. Send your letter:) Give it a shot!
I agree with the others-you NEED to send that! Hilarious! Thanks again for making me laugh today!
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